im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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