people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
