dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
A bitchslap is in order.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
