shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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