brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
