Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
