i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
