i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
