Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
