You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
