I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
