First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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