a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
