I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
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Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
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And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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