so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
