Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
