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She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
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