he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
