a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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