Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
bring money and cleavage
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Come on in and take your pants off
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