Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
