Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
