Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize