is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize