Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
