You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
