It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
its liver damage thursday
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
