I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
