i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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