Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
