I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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