The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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