i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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