I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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