this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
my liver is dry heaving
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
