I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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