You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I did not marry a roomba.
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