white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
