Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I am one with the molecules
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