I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
