took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You pole danced in your parka.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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