nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Let's paint friendship bongs
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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