Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
