my phone needs a breathalizer
he shaved USA in his pubs
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
