just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he laminated a picture of his dick.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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