whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
