I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
