I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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