Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
