did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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