If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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