i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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