I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
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he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
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I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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