But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
