Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
