So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
