he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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