The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
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Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
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I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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