Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
