if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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