I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
