You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
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Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
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Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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