i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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