Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
