For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
