I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
