If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
