check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
