I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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