people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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